Every Day Is Like This In This Wonderful World
by SympatheticInSpirit
Summary: Kazuma and Megumin take a break from their usual routine to rummage through the discount bin at Wiz's Magic Item Shop. Complete as a standalone fic for now, but have some ideas I may expand it with.


He was down one loli. Worrying. She'd been walking right next to him a moment ago, so where... oh.

"Are you coming or not? Why did you stop?"

Megumin didn't respond, she just stood there in the street looking his way with a pleased little smile on her face. Then she started doing that thing with her hand again. Just holding it up in front of herself with her fingers outstretched.

He stared.

She stared back.

He stared.

She stared back.

He- "...Alright already." Kazuma marched backwards and snatched her hand in his before pulling her along with him.

"Good boy-ah! Kazuma! Not so fast, I'll trip! I'll trip!" She used his arm to catch herself and matched his pace. "Good boy," she repeated, once she'd collected herself and neatened her clothes. "I've got you well-trained I see."

"Uh-huh. You could just ask if you want me to hold your hand, instead of trying to make us late until I give in."

"You say that, but when I ask you try to get out of it." She complained.

"Because it's embarrassing walking around town holding hands with you!"

"What's embarrassing about holding hands with a beauty like me?" She preened, before her expression dropped suddenly into a deep frown. "Hey. If you're embarrassed to be seen with me in public then be a man and tell me to my face! Or is this about how sweaty your hand gets...?"

That. It was exactly that. It was exactly both of those things actually! He was a virgin for goodness sake, he wasn't used to holding hands in public (anywhere). He wasn't used to girls asking him to hold their hand. He wasn't used to people pointing at him with Megumin and mumbling things like 'Oh, Kazuma is holding hands with the screw-loose girl? Are they dating? That's so cute!' and other embarrassing things.

It would have been easier if he'd known the answer to that question. He didn't _think_ they were, it wasn't as if they were doing anything else differently and he was pretty sure that to be dating both parties needed to be informed. But Megumin had told him she liked him back at the Crimson Demon village hadn't she?

She might have just been caught up in the moment they'd been having. She might have said something and regretted it, but been too embarrassed to admit it. Hell, she might have just been joking. She'd also told her friends that he was 'her man' and that they'd even slept together (which was true… in the most literal way possible), but that time she'd definitely just been saying it to get a rise out of her old schoolmates (and mess with him). The girls had mentioned she'd always been childish, so she'd wheeled out something to imply she was the more mature one and sent them running.

No. That wasn't Megumin. She wouldn't have lied about something like that to him... but that didn't mean she wasn't messing with him anyway. Maybe the plan was just to wait for him to get accustomed to holding her hand, then just laugh at him when he tried to hold hers without asking? It sounded cruel, but anyone who saw Megumin interact with Yunyun could see she had no problem at all with that. Actually, in truth she was a bit of a bully. But she'd only started acting like this towards him a few days ago and he didn't think he'd done anything to piss her off recently.

Had he?

"Kazuma?"

Shit. Seriously, had he? There had been that thing where she'd walked in on him using Bind on Darkness while she was in her nightclothes. She'd been bugging him to show off the new rope he'd gotten for it and he'd thought it'd be easier to give into her stupid fetish and leave her propped up in a corner somewhere until it wore off. It hadn't been his fault they'd tied around her… assets in such a revealing way, and it wasn't his fault she'd knocked a pitcher of water over herself on the way down. It definitely wasn't his fault her pyjamas were so sheer they went see-through when wet! Any man would have been red in the face and hiding himself behind waist-high furniture.

Except Megumin hadn't been upset at all. She'd been completely understanding once he'd told her what had happened and shown her the broken glass (and explained he had no control over how Bind tied someone up, no more than he did with Steal). They'd just cleaned up, gone on with their day, had breakfast and gotten Aqua to let Darkness out a few hours later.

Honestly her level-headed nature was one of the things he liked most about her. Of course liking Megumin for her level-headedness sounded an awful lot like liking TNT for it's uses as a safe and stable building material, but it was true. Outside of a few key blind spots he'd made a mental note to keep an eye on (the Explosion spell, magic in general, dramatic poses, speeches during battles, 'destiny', Yunyun, town noise ordinances, intact fortifications that shouldn't have made themselves look so impregnable if they weren't just asking for it, Yunyun again, past-lives, any monster dangerous enough to kill her in one hit, actually pretty much anything that could get her killed etc. etc,) she was a surprisingly sensible, reliable girl. Admittedly there was no middle ground at all, she was either completely dependable or completely insane; but hell, he'd take what he could get. At least he was only babysitting this one half the time.

"Kazuma!"

No, the Darkness thing couldn't be it. Something else. Maybe… Yunyun! He'd told her that he considered her a friend a few days ago when Megumin had been teasing (bullying) her once again for not being able to make any. Honestly he'd just felt bad for the poor girl and had wanted to make her feel better, though he'd felt even worse seeing how much it had obviously meant for her to hear it. She'd given him the sort of teary-eyed smile that'd made him want to go have a lie down until the heart palpitations stopped.

Maybe he needed to have a word with Megumin about how she treated her? He was at least theoretically responsible for her, and keeping their party on good terms with Yunyun was a good idea. She made for good back-up when they needed more firepower. In the mean time though, could Megumin be aiming for revenge? She'd definitely given him a dark look when he'd told Yunyun that. Shit, it made way too much sense! Megumin was definitely that petty when it came to Yunyun! Maybe-

"Kazuma!"

"Kazuma here." He responded automatically.

"You didn't answer! Tell me! Is it because-"

"Yo, Wiz! We're here!" He interrupted loudly as he swung the door to Wiz's item shop open and dragged the Arch Mage inside by the hand.

"Kazuma!"

"Kazuma-san, welcome. I've got those items I mentioned right here." Wiz lifted a wooden crate onto the shop-counter. "Please, help yourself to anything you like." She took another look at them and cocked her head in confusion. "Um, why are you two holding hands?"

"Good question!" Megumin snatched hers back and looking away with a 'hmph'. Then she opened one eye and looked back. "Is there anything good in there?"

It was Wiz, so almost by definition there couldn't be. But Megumin liked magic items. Even the cursed items in Wiz's shop appealed to her thanks to her messed up Crimson Demon values… and free was free. So he'd decided they should drop in as part of today's 'date' before they headed outside the city to set off the usual Explosion.

"As I was saying to Kazuma-san the other day, many of these are things I'm not really meant to have or I'm not allowed to sell. Since they've just been taking up space Vanir-san told me we should get rid of them. So if there's anything there you might want I'd be happy if you could take them from me."

"Oh, there are labels on some of these." He said as he started picking through what he could see. It might have sounded weird to comment on that, but that sort of thoroughness wasn't what he expected from Wiz at all. Wiz seemed to like leaving most things unlabelled beyond maybe a price tag and relying on her memory to tell what was what. And she did not have a particularly impressive memory.

"Oi. Kazuma. This isn't acceptable." He turned, and had to cover his laughter with his hand. Megumin was straining herself standing on the tips of her toes, but she still wasn't tall enough to see into the crate that was also on top of Wiz's counter.

"No problem loli-girl! Let me-OW! Don't punch me when I'm doing you a favour brat." He lifted the crate down to the floor instead. Megumin immediately crouched beside it and started rummaging. "And be careful with those, this is Wiz's shop after all. You know what happens here."

"I don't know what you mean by that Kazuma-san."

Sure you don't Wiz… No, what was he thinking? It was Wiz. She probably didn't.

"Actually, Kazuma has a point for once." Megumin said. "Wiz, you normally sell really dangerous stuff anyway. So why aren't you allowed to sell something like this?" She was holding up what looked like a simple silver ring with a round white stone – maybe a pearl – set into it. "Anyway I look at it, this is just a Ring of Light right? The label says so too. Is it cursed or something?"

"Um, it's not cursed or dangerous at all. But it's not a normal Ring of Light either. If you put it on and put a bit of mana into it-"

"Not happening. I need every drop for Explosion. Kazuma!" She turned to him and started waving the ring at him.

"Am I your dog!?"

"Hehe…."

Ugh. That was quite the expression Megumin had on.

"Alright fine." He took it and held it in one hand. Enchantments that turned mana into light were pretty common as an alternative to candles or lanterns. Even he'd seen things like this since coming to this world, though not actually in a ring form. He slipped it on and did as Wiz said. As he did the stone began to glow.

It wasn't particularly impressive, but then no one could have called the shop particularly gloomy. Wiz kept it well lit and the windows were letting in all the morning light. Still, the light produced by the ring was obviously there. Except it didn't look right, instead of a beam or whatever there was just a thing horizontal line of light on the floor where he was pointing it.

Why would selling something like this be banned?

"Oh, it's broken? No... a broken magic item would be more obvious. It'd have to have been made like that." Megumin thought aloud. "But why would someone bother? And why wouldn't you be allowed to sell it?" She looked his way. "Kazuma, you've got a look on your face like you think you know something."

"Don't want to hear something like that from a brat who's looking to me for the answer." He retorted. "Wiz, this is a thieves' tool right? As in a tool for thievery, not for the Thief-class." He grinned in triumph when she nodded awkwardly in response.

"Kazuma-san is correct. It's a modified Ring of Light. That narrow beam of light makes it perfect for people sneaking around in the dark without alerting anyone. Though I didn't realize it when I bought it, magic items that have been made for obviously dishonest purposes like that can get you a fine if you get caught selling them..." She shook her head glumly. Given Wiz's complete lack of guile he'd guess that was a fine she'd paid a few times before. "It's not actually illegal to own, but Sena-san has made me give everyone who's tried to buy it a refund so I just want to get rid of it now." Oh, wow. Multiple fines for the same item. How forgetful was this lich that she'd tried selling it again? She at least could have updated the label...

"Sure, we'll take it. I know someone who might get some use out of it actually." It was actually a pretty cool item so he pocketed it just to get it out of Wiz's hands, but it was possible Chris might like it. He wouldn't have any need of it himself, the Far Sight skill he had granted him night vision, but that was an Archer skill. Thieves like Chris couldn't get it.

"Wiz, what's this?" Megumin asked holding up what looked like a normal coin.

"Um, that's called a Cheater's Coin. Whomever flips it can make it land on the result they want. So as you can imagine they're sought after by conmen and tricksters."

"Oof." Wiz hadn't even finished speaking before the coin had hit him in the chest.

"Another for you Kazuma. Suits you perfectly." Megumin remarked. He couldn't really argue, it did. He pocketed that too. It probably fell under the same rules as the thieves' ring had as a magic item made for mischief.

"Hey Wiz, what about this?"

"That's Sovereign Glue, it can stick anything to anything. I… I'd recommend being very careful with it. The only thing that can undo it is a special solvent and it's very expensive... and takes a long time to arrive." Ah, another 'from experience' warning.

He'd been about to ask why on earth superglue could be something she wasn't able to sell when Megumin squealed.

"Kazuma! Kazuma! I don't know what this is, but it appeals very directly to my Crimson Demon sensibilities!" Megumin had grabbed something and was holding it above her head in celebration.

"It's a skull." Kazuma pointed out. A skull with a red pentagram painted on it's forehead and some weird writing, but that was it. It looked like a cheap Halloween decoration. Except this world didn't have plastic or anything to mimic bone... "Wait, is that thing real?!"

"That's a Curse-Eater." Wiz explained with a bit of a grimace. "It's a one-use item that absorbs a curse in your stead, then breaks."

"Kazuma, I want this! Put it in your bag, it's perfect." He honestly wasn't sure if she wanted it for fighting the Demon King or if just for decoration. Actually, that was nonsense. Megumin obviously just wanted it for decoration.

He neglected to take it out of Megumin's hands.

"Wiz." He said flatly. "Would I be right in saying Sena-san would not be happy with us if she found we had this?"

"Um..." Goodness Wiz could squirm when she was caught out on something. "It might be best to make sure other people in general don't find out about that, yes. Or that you got it from me. I'd very much appreciate it."

"..."

"I was going to warn you Kazuma-san, I promise!"

"…Was this item made by killing someone?"

"No!"

"But it is a real skull right?!" Megumin asked with eyes full of hope.

"Wha-why do you sound happy about that?!"

"...Yes." Wiz nodded. "A Curse-Eater needs to be made from a recently deceased person. B-But the man I got it from promised he'd died from something else!"

"..." How naive could someone be?

He felt something tugging at his side. Megumin was trying to put the skull in his satchel bag. He slapped her hands away.

"This isn't a magic item! This is evidence in a murder investigation!" They didn't even need it! Removing curses fell into the extremely short list of things Aqua was actually competent at. "It's not something we need to keep in our house, we should be burying it!"

"Oh, um, would you?" Wiz asked hopefully. "Because that would help too…"

"You do it! Next time I have one of those lie-detector bells near me I'm not going to have it call me out if anyone asks me if I've ever hidden a body! The first time was bad enough!"

"Wiz, please wrap this up and keep it aside for me. I'll come back for it later." Megumin slid it over the counter towards the lich, who nodded gratefully.

"Fine. If you go to prison I'm going to ask Yunyun to replace you." He muttered.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?" She swung around so fast her cape caught the Curse Eater and Wiz had to make a flying leap to catch it before it tumbled off the counter.

"You heard me! If you get arrested because you did something stupid that'll be the end of it. We'll have sweet, demure Yunyun be our Arch Wizard instead."

"Y-You worthless-, when you got arrested we tried to help you! We didn't just move on and pick up another scumbag!"

"That's my class is it? Scumbag? Wait, you gave up defending me immediately! Remember this? '_Oh I never made it inside the Destroyer. If I was there I would've stopped Kazuma from making that decision. Unfortunately I wasn't, so it can't be helped. How unfortunate!_'. Helping?! You hadn't even been accused of anything and you still couldn't have rolled over faster to save your own skin if you'd tried."

Oh wow, she'd really gone red from being reminded of that. It was actually kind of cute, and when he stopped being quite as pissed off he might even care about how cute she looked.

"W-We tried to break you out! And what's with your impression of my voice!?"

"You sent Aqua!"

"That counts! And again, why did you make my voice sound so husky!? I don't sound like that!"

"No it does not count! If you really cared about that escape plan you wouldn't have let Aqua anywhere near it! I bet you just went along with whatever she said because it was an excuse for you to use Explosion."

"T-That's…" Obviously true, her face was even redder now. She was beginning to match her robe.

"That's right, chuunibyou tendencies aside I know you actually have a decent brain in that head." He said, leaning over and rapping his knuckle on her burning forehead for emphasis. "So be properly ashamed of yourself when you deliberately don't use it just so you can scratch your stupid itch."

"…Kazuma's one to talk." She turned away with an embarrassed 'hmph' back to picking through the contents of the crate with a feigned over-abundance of interest. He couldn't help but notice Wiz had started to wrap the skull up for her all the same. Maybe he'd be getting a new party member after all. Of course it probably wasn't a great idea to piss Megumin off, since he'd be spending at least another hour or two with her… but also to hell with her. He'd deal with her sulking for a whole week before he even began to let her take credit for putting Aqua in charge of something important.

They spent a little while more looking. Most magic items were pretty small things when all was said and done so there was a surprising amount to look through in the crate Wiz had brought out. There ended up being a few more items that each of them grabbed for themselves; and after careful questioning of Wiz to ascertain exactly how illegal they were he was even willing to let Megumin keep some of them.

"This is unlabelled, but it looks expensive." Megumin was holding a small leather box with a bronze latch on it and some sort of faded crest on top. He moved beside her as she flipped it open.

"Oh, more magic rings?" There were two in there, though the box had spaces for about a dozen so obviously there had been a bigger set at some point. They weren't much to look at. One looked like a simple noblewoman's ring maybe, it was gold and had a big red gem in it with some flower carvings too. The other was a completely different style; it had no decoration and was more angular, made from a silver metal with a blue stone inset in it. "Wiz? More stuff for thieves?" He asked gesturing to them.

"The opposite actually. Which um, which is why I'm really not sure if I should have them. Rings like these were what lie detecting bells were based on, but nowadays they're almost all in the hands of high nobles and representatives of the king so I've been a little frightened to let anyone know I've got them…" She laughed nervously.

"Oh, so these are like a prototype for the bells?"

"Well, actually the bells were created as lesser copies of the enchantments on these kinds of rings. The bells can only detect lies. These rings can actually force someone to tell the truth."

"Ah, a super-prototype. A time-honoured tradition in my homeland as well, at least for mecha." It made sense for Wiz to be nervous of having them then. They sounded extremely powerful and this was a feudal society after all; there didn't need to be a specific law against something if it annoyed the right people. He'd experienced it himself. It was possible for nobles to cause a lot of trouble for someone if they felt slighted by them. Even if they didn't need the rings themselves, there were people in this world who'd be insulted by the idea of a commoner possessing them.

"What's a mecha?" Megumin asked, but he was too deep in thought. Barring the cheat items Aqua had been dumping into this world this was was probably the most powerful – and potentially OP – magic item he'd run into so far. To think he'd find two of them for free at Wiz's of all places. Rings that could force someone to tell the truth…

He had to have them.

They'd be an incredible ace in the hole in the right situations and against the right people. He'd have to be careful not to use them in non-vital situations of course – they were the sort of power that demanded responsibility – but if he used these properly they might save his life some day.

…

"Megumin!" He snatched up the blue ring and put it on before brandishing it at his party member with the grin of a man who had his prey cornered. "Why have you started asking to hold my hand recently?!"

"…." She definitely didn't look like she was fighting to avoid answering his question. Maybe fighting to stop herself punching him, but definitely not speaking.

"Hm." He frowned, then tried forcing some mana into the ring like he had the last one. "Megumin! What are you trying to get out of holding my hand so much?"

"…." Again, nothing. Actually she was just giving him a dirty look now. A really dirty look.

"K-Kazuma-san?" Ah. Here it came. It was Wiz, so obviously there was some sort of catch. "Actually, the other ring is the one the royal prosecutor would wear, that's the one that commands the others in the set. The one you're wearing would be one of those worn by the suspect. Or by convicted criminals as a punishment to force them into honest behaviour, though nowadays that's generally considered cruel…"

Oh. So it was a ring that forced someone _wearing_ it to tell the truth. Well then… that was not what he'd thought at all.

His first thoughts were something along the lines of '_getitoff-getitoff-getitoff-getitoff!_' but he suppressed the urge. As he'd just seen, being hasty wasn't a good idea with magic items.

"Wiz. Will anything bad happen to me if I pull this ring off my finger right now?" He was careful choosing his words. Wiz had a habit of missing out important information the first time around. Somehow he'd forgotten that.

"Hm…" She seemed thoughtful for a moment. "I don't think so. I've never actually tried these out… but no one is wearing the master ring so they shouldn't even be active. And even if they were, the worst they were usually set to do was give a bit of a shock if you tried to remove them without permission." Fantastic. Because 'shouldn't' and 'usually' were his favourite words to rely on. He braced himself and yanked the ring from his finger anyway.

He waited, not even breathing. Nothing happened.

"Safe!" He cheered. "I was a little worried there for… what?" Megumin was still giving him a dirty look. "What's with that face?" The last time she'd looked at him like that was after he'd told her he purposefully shifted her around when carrying her so he could feel her chest on his back.

She held her hand out to him. "Just give me the ring, I'm putting it back in the box."

"Alright, alright. Just wait, maybe it was kind of-hey!" She interrupted by snatching the ring out of his hand instead of waiting for him to hand it over and did as she'd said she would, closing the ring box with a snap.

"Now go wait outside. I want to talk to Wiz." Great, he'd definitely pissed her off. She wasn't even looking his way. He wanted to object but he couldn't really see any reason to. Wiz had cocked her head when she'd said it too, she didn't seem to know what it was about. "I said go. It's girl talk." Yep, she was mad. It seemed to him Megumin used 'girl talk' as a euphemism for 'talk bad about Kazuma behind his back'. Oh well, no reason to make her madder. In these situations it was better to wait for her to cool off and apologize later.

"Alright, alright. See you Wiz. Thanks for the items!"

"You're welcome as always Kazuma-san. By the way, I'll be closing the shop for a few days to get rid of the rest of these unwanted items safely. I look forward to seeing you again when I return." Ah, Wiz. She gave him such a smile he had to wonder if she saved them up for him or if everyone was so lucky.

"No problem, see you then. Goodbye!" It almost made up for her tendency towards actions that might be considered criminal incompetence and/or manslaughter back home.

He ended up sitting on Wiz's step for only a few minutes before someone he knew walked by and called him over to talk. That sort of thing happened a lot nowadays. Back in Japan he may have been a friendless NEET, but here he was actually kind of famous! Though these guys were from when he worked construction with Aqua, so it wasn't really a fame thing. They'd just wanted to catch up. Still, popularity felt good.

He'd made sure while he was joking with them that he kept an eye on Wiz's to make sure Megumin didn't come out without him seeing, but either she and Wiz were having a long talk about something or she was purposefully keeping him waiting to show how annoyed she was with him.

Honestly, after about ten minutes more he'd started considering just going back to the mansion. But Megumin wouldn't go a day without using Explosion if she could help it at all, so she'd probably end up going out anyway out of stubbornness and being stuck lying flat on her face until her mana regenerated enough for her to stumble home. Considering how dangerous this world was that wasn't something he was comfortable with.

Ah, there she was.

Megumin exited the shop and looked around when she couldn't see him. He excused himself from his old workmates and jogged back over before she got the wrong idea.

"Yo Megumin. Did you and Wiz have a nice talk?" Oh, she was making that face again.

"Let's go." She started walking in the direction of the town gate without waiting for him to say anything. He took a deep breath and put the image of an exhausted Megumin being slowly devoured by a toad into his head and used it as motivation to put up with her.

"Me-"

"Kazuma." She interrupted coldly before he could say anything at all. "I advise you to consider your words very carefully going forwards, lest you suffer the wrath of the Crimson Demons. Understand?"

"…Perfectly." He replied, trying to keep his temper under control. "I understand that you're cranky since we've delayed you getting your stupid Explosion fix. I'll wait to apologize until you're lying on your face in the dirt and need my goodwill to carry you home." Alright, he hadn't been trying that hard.

She didn't answer and just kept walking as if she hadn't even heard him, but then after a few steps she turned back to face him. He braced himself for more argument, but instead she just held her hand out like she'd done before. Though her expression was blank and unreadable, instead of that sweet smile from earlier.

"What, you still want to hold my hand?" He couldn't imagine why she'd want to now of all times, it just made the whole thing even more suspicious to him. But whatever, if it made her feel better then it was fine.

He reached out his hand only to feel her snatch it up. "Hey, what are-" He froze up as something was slipped onto his finger.

"Lock."

He looked down in time to see the blue stone in his ring start to glow.

He looked at Megumin in shock. Still holding his hand in hers she gave him the cruellest, thinnest smile he'd ever seen her wear. Then she held up her other hand to show him the control ring she was wearing, it's red stone glowing in time with his.

Oh.

"Since Kazuma-san failed to heed the only advice his loyal comrade gave him, clearly some behavioural correction is in order. This should help." She told him faux-sweetly. "I especially can't wait for that apology of yours. You've actually said more than one thing today that I would like an apology for come to think of it. Don't worry, you can keep going again and again until we both know they're all 100% sincere."

Oh dear.

…

"Oi Kazuma! Kazuma! Don't run away! I still need someone to carry me back! Kazuma! Obey me or I won't unlock it! Hear me! Kazuma! I'll leave that thing locked on you for a month! KAZUMA!"

_"DON'T YELL THAT SORT OF THING AT A MAN IN PUBLIC!"_

* * *

A/N: Would you believe this started out as an idea for something angsty? I'd been knocking around a vague idea of Megumin using a magic truth-telling item to get Kazuma to maybe be a bit firmer with his feelings, tsundere that he is, and ending up managing to stumble into the some of the insecurities and depression that caused Kazuma to end up as a hikkikomori in the first place. I don't know, something I like about Konosuba is the pretty biting commentary that people's personalities and problems aren't so insignificant that being in a new world would change them. And that's true for Kazuma, who is just so soul-crushingly apathetic about things at times – he's the guy who tried to refuse to be brought back to life because he was just that done with the hassle of being alive. It's played for laughs, but that was a thing that happened. Anyway, I got to thinking of how it'd happen, ended up writing about them arguing in the magic store instead. Tl;Dr – I was going to write something angsty, what I did was write about Kazuma and Megumin squabbling. It was more fun. Anyway, I think this works pretty well as it's own stand alone thing, but I have some half-written ideas on how to continue it if I feel like it. You'll have to wait and see. If you do like the idea, or have any ideas of the sorts of fun Megumin could get up to with Kazuma and a truth-compelling ring, feel free to let me know. It might spur me into action.


End file.
